Magda Morgese Borys

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Be bad!

As I was having my YogiTea one day, I stumbled upon this quote on the back of the tea bag: ‘Be kind to others and compassionate to yourself’.

It really hit a spot for me. I was trying to research who actually said that – no luck (in case you know, do let me know ;-))

This is so true. We are always told to focus on the others – being kind, polite, helpful, etc. and these are all great qualities to cultivate. What is often forgotten is actually focusing on yourself.

Putting yourself first has gotten some bad rep and some of us actually feel guilty when prioritising our own needs. But I assure you, there is lots of space for self-compassion and self-care before it reaches a point of being egoistic. And you know what, for once feel free to be egoistic – really focus on yourself and listen what your body needs. Paradoxically, you can only be truly good to others (in a sustainable way, if you will) if you first give yourself some love.

So, what does it actually mean to be compassionate to yourself? There is no really good or bad answer here – it is whatever that means for you right now.

It can be more of an emotional healing, some deeply held guilt or shame that you have been carrying around – this is high time to release it and let it go. Talk to yourself as you would to a friend that needs your help – is it really such a big deal to constantly punish yourself for something that you (not) said/(not) did in the past. Did you even mean it? Let it go….you will do a great service to yourself and others.

It can be also about giving yourself some slack to be imperfect to be a little bad from time to time. When we are kids (and especially girls), there is so much focus on us behaving a certain way, conforming to the societal norms. And that’s all good and of course there for a reason. But, sometimes, it goes too far. We are no longer questioning whether all these norms/restrictions that we often place on ourselves actually serve us well. So, as an experiment, do something ‘bad’ once a day, or if that is too hard, start with once a week. Please do share in the comments under this post how this went for you. I would be also super interested to hear what was the ‘bad’ thing you decided to let yourself do.

And finally, there is a whole vast space of self-care. Again, the definitions of self-care are as many as people but it is really about taking time for yourself – maybe just going for a walk out in nature, a bath, a massage, a pedicure, quiet evening with a great book and a glass of wine, an evening out to see a movie, a date with your partner…….you can really get creative here.

Do let me know what you think. What are your favourite self-care practices?

 


Hello! I am Magda and I work with people that are ready to transform their health and wellbeing. What are your health goals that you have not been able to reach? Read more about me and my services.

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